New Year, New Energy... not New You!

In the New Year we can get bombarded by setting goals and the pressure of making this the best year yet!  However instead of goal setting, which often looks at external values, I want to encourage you to look inwards and use this as a time of self-reflection & self-inquiry.  Taking a look at last year and learning the lessons, coming up with new ideas and looking at how you have been taking care of yourself in order to understand how you can be in alignment with your values as you move into 2023.

One thing that’s incredibly important for your mental health at this time of year is to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made.  All your failures, all your mistakes help guide you to where you need to be.  When we are stuck in a cycle of shame & blame it’s very hard to use our mistakes as an opportunity to grow and learn.  So I would love you to use the journaling prompts below to get really clear on what energy you want to bring into the next year & what is holding you back from creating this.

It’s not about a goal, or an outcome, but about the energy you bring to things. This creates the biggest shifts in our lives.  It’s about finding the courage from within to approach a conflict with curiosity & compassion rather than defensiveness & criticism.  It’s about you understanding that the difficult conversations bring change rather than the easy way out - continuing to complain about the person you really need to have a conversation with.  It’s about finding all the ways in which you are doing a great job, rather than focusing on all the ways in which you went wrong.  Again, energy over outcome!

I often get asked: what gave you the courage to move to Bali, quit your job & go through a divorce?  My answer: it’s not some magic pill, it’s not a quick fix and it’s not some huge miracle moment that allowed me to do all of this… it was simply showing up for myself in a different way than I had previously.  Moving from victimhood mode to realising that only I had the power to make the little daily changes. 

It was starting to treat myself better, with healthier boundaries.  It was saying no to the things that were draining me, letting go of toxic relationships, choosing therapy and coaching over sleeping pills and alcohol.  It was choosing a cup of tea over coffee that clearly upset my stomach & made me feel anxious.  It was choosing me over pleasing everyone else.  It was journaling every day when I was unemployed and feeling lost to remind myself that I was still worthy even if I hadn’t done much all day!

Journal Prompts for this coming year ahead:

(Try to use pen to paper to write this down as it has a bigger impact on our neural pathways than typing it up.)

• What has been the greatest lesson of the prevoius year?
• Have my values changed? Are they changing?
• What have I noticed the most?
• What is my greatest need?
• What do I want my words to sound like?
• What is the greatest resource of my life?
• Who am I becoming?
• What is the blessing I want to offer to everyone in the year to come?
• How have I been lying to myself/others?
• What’s my biggest realisation in 2022.  
• What’s your word for 2023.
• What am I letting go of?
• What has been your biggest drain on your energy & time in 2022?
• What has been your biggest expander for 2022?
• What do you commit to do in terms of loving yourself wholeheartedly in 2023?
• What feels good right now?
• What doesn’t feel good?
• How can you make shifts to change this?
• What are your limiting beliefs?  How can you show up with a different belief / energy?

Bullet Journal & Mood Tracker

On top of the journal prompts above, I wanted to share a Bullet journal & mood tracker.  It’s a great idea to start some of these practices so that they become a ritual in your every day life.  One of the best ways to build confidence, self-love & self-worth is to actually honour yourself and give yourself the time to have a self-practice. 

I know so many of you will be screaming out “but I don’t have time for this!”  The truth is you do. Some of the busiest most successful people I know, who have young children, make time for this.  It IS possible.  You just have to find the love inside to make this a priority.  It’s only you and your mindset that is getting in the way.  Plus, I guarantee that once this becomes a regular practice, you will actually find that you create more time by being less anxious & less busy in your mind.  It's incredible how simple it is to create powerful transformations through something like a bullet journal & mood tracker.

Our mind likes to give us excuses like I am too busy, or I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough time as it’s easier to NOT do these things.  Our brain likes the familiar, our brain doesn’t like change, so we fight it!  When you say these things, you are subconsciously self-sabotaging your chance to actually do something about how you feel.  That's why this work is so hard - until you become aware that most of your reactions, habits, behaviours & feelings are subconscious... it's very difficult to take the simple steps to rewire your brain so that the subconscious is pulled into the conscious.

Make 2023 your chance to start putting yourself first, and watch how everything you desire starts to come to fruition with less effort, with less of a struggle and with much more ease.