What can we do about stress?

Stress is a common problem that many of us deal with in our daily lives - I mean how many times have you heard this before?  But are you actually taking your levels of stress seriously?  Are you actively trying to manage your stress?  Have you researched stress management?  Have you worked out that all your relationships suffer and your mental health suffers when you are stressed? Whether it's work, family, or personal issues, stress can take a toll on us mentally and physically. 

I coach women on stress through the lense of self-worth. When we have low self-worth, we don't put ourselves first, we don't take as much care of ourselves, we always tell ourselves we are too busy to take that yoga class, to rest, to do soemthing nourishing for our health.  Unfortunately what this ends up doing is ignoring and avoiding a very real problem - burn out.

I have been totally burnt out twice in my life & ended up feeling completely exhausted, having no mental capacity, reducing my ability to remember things, I lost my period, I was having regular panic attacks, night sweats, IBS... and as a result, my work & my relationships massively suffered.  When I looked at my levels of stress I could see that the deep rooted problem was a lack of love and care for myself.  A lack of feeling worthy enough to prioritise what I needed.  It has taken time, but learning how to not feel guilty for looking after myself has created many powerful waves in my life.

In this blog post, I will be sharing with you five effective ways to reduce stress and improve your overallwell-being.

1. Look at current screen time and try to decrease this.

In today's digital age, we spend a lot of our time staring at screens. Whether it's for work or leisure, excessive screen time can lead to eye strain, headaches, sore necks, bad posture and increased stress levels. On top of this, we often look at our screens to fill a void and out of habit.  Our default mode has been to pick up our phones when we go to the toilet!  To reduce your screen time, you can try setting a timer for yourself whenever you use electronic devices or use an app to shut your phone down at certain times. This way, you will be more mindful of how much time you are spending on your phone and can work towards consciously decreasing it gradually.  

Some practical tips - have a substitute for your phone.  If you scroll on your phone on your commute to work, can you read a book instead?  When your friend goes to the toilet at a restaurant - instead of reaching your phone, can you take a moment to look around and be mindful of what you can see, touch, and hear?  Giving yourself a moment of mindfulness.  Make a rule to never have your phone on the dinner table / restaurant table.  Buy an alarm clock and have a rule that your phone does not come into your bedroom.  Have one day on the weekend when you completely turn off your phone.  It might feel scary at first so add in one or two tips to begin with.  The key is to start to consciously choose when you are on your phone rather than just slipping into the habit.

2. What do you love to do for pure joy? How can you prioritise this?

We all have hobbies or activities that bring us pure joy and help us unwind. However, with our busy schedules, we often neglect these activities. It is important to set aside time for yourself and engage in activities that you enjoy. This could be anything from reading a book, going for a walk, or even baking. Whatever it may be, make sure you prioritise these activities and incorporate them into your daily routine.  Johan Hari in his book Lost Connections says that the more that our intrinsic values are starved, the more likely we are to be depressed and anxious.  Take some time to work out what it is you love doing & create some non-negotiable boundaries in your life in order to make time for this.  Many of the women I work with have made some beautiful changes with this - making sure they have time for pottery classes, dancing, solo travel, cooking at home, taking a course, sewing... the creative opportunities are endless.

3. Take a pause before you say yes to everything. Buy time!

We often feel pressure to say yes to everything that comes our way, whether it's work-related or personal. However, saying yes to everything can lead to burnout and increased stress levels. It is important to take a pause and evaluate whether or not you have the time and energy to commit to the task at hand. If you need time to consider, don't be afraid to ask for it. This will give you the time you need to evaluate your priorities and make an informed decision.  Use sentences such as:

"I am going to have to get back to you."

"Let me check. my diary."

"If you need an answer now, I am afriad the answer will have to be no."

"I need some time to think about this."

4. Create a "zen den" - a small space in your house that is just for you.

Creating a "zen den" is a great way to reduce stress and create a calming environment for yourself. This could be a small space in your house where you can meditate, practice yoga, or simply relax. You can decorate the space with items that bring you joy, such as plants, candles, or artwork. Take time to create a space that feels welcoming and safe.  Even if it's a corner of your room, having a designated space just for you can help reduce stress levels and promote a sense of calmness.  It also is a way to tell your subconscious mind (the part of you that is on autopilot and constantly being productive) that it's ok to rest, that's it's ok to invest time and energy into your wellbeing.  Creating a zen den is literally teaching you to raise your level of self-worth.

5. Remember you are not alone.

Last but not least, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your struggles with stress. Many people deal with stress on a daily basis, and it is okay to seek help when needed. Whether it's talking to a friend, seeking professional help, or joining a support group, there are resources available to help you manage your stress levels. Remember that it is okay to ask for help and that there is no shame in seeking support.  Find ways to become part of a community, step outside of your comfort zone, do activities that you love with others, find a coworking space rather than working at home alone, join a group class instead of being on your own in the gym - it might feel hard at first, but the more you practice being with people & creating a community, the more it will feel like second nature to you.

Stress is a common problem that many of us deal with in our daily lives. However, by implementing these five tips, we can reduce our stress levels and improve our overall well-being. Remember to take time for yourself, set boundaries, and seek support when needed. You can do this!